In my experience as a Behavior Specialist and Licensed Clinician for over 13 years, the amount of independence or dependence you have in your relationships is often an indication of the level of your psychological and emotional health and a predictor of how successful your relationships will be with others.
It is known that we grow through certain psychological and developmental stages throughout our early childhood into adulthood. Some of us grew through them with ease, because we were nurtured and cared for by consistent, attentive parents or caregivers, but many of you may have had inconsistent, unhealthy, or non existent parenting and care-giving that could have had an impact on your early childhood development and thus has impacted the level of your psychological health and dependence or independence as you mature and grow in life.
The good news is that even if you didn’t have the best parenting or parents as good role models, you can still learn the skills and behaviors to improve your psychological health, decrease dependence and increase independence or increase dependence and increase independence; which ever is at an unhealthy imbalance.
I teach individuals and couples these tools and skills so they too can create successful relationships with themselves and others. These are 4 things you must have in order to be emotionally healthy and have successful relationships personally and professionally:
Self-Awareness: It is important for you to be self-aware for you to have successful relationships with others. You must be able to understand that your behavior has an impact (positively or negatively) on others and care what that impact is. A good skill to learn is being aware of, and understanding other people’s body language. When you can understand this you can gauge how people are experiencing you and learn to use it to your advantage. I coach people to learn this skill and use it successfully in their relationships at the office, as well as personally.
Self-Responsibility: Believe it or not, ultimately you are responsible to take care of yourself emotionally and physically once you are the legal age of 18. Before that, you are allowed to be dependent on your parent(s) and your parent(s) or caregivers are required by law to take care of you. Hopefully your parent(s) even while you were still young started to teach you the beginning skills of independence. Helping you learn how to take care of yourself if a parent leaves your sight, doesn’t bring you something right away, or you get hurt or upset. These were the beginning skills that were important for you to learn in order for you to learn independence vs. dependence. These can help you in relationships today, or you can work with a coach like me who can help you learn and be aware of them now. Too often I see couples that one partner expects the other to make them happy, make them always feel good, take care of them etc. The healthiest couples have a healthy balance of independence vs. dependence.
Emotional Management: To have successful relationships you must be able to manage adequately your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. A person who is able to calm herself down and soothe herself by herself when upset or unhappy will probably be able to have healthier relationships. A person who is angry or upset who can talk himself down and able to discuss calmly an issue will most likely have better relationships. Usually a person who knows how to use the EMT(TM) (Emotional Management Technique which is taught in my Are you Stressed home study product and in my coaching sessions) can have healthier more successful relationships by using the techniques and tools I teach to better manage their emotional system.
Needs Management: As human beings, we have the following basic needs; sleep, nutrition & hydration, elimination, love & belonging, safety & shelter. We all need varying degrees and amounts of these to function and survive. When we know ourselves well we know what amounts of these we need to perform at our very best. I am one of those individuals who know myself very well. And as I have gotten busier and more successful, I have had to take care of my needs better by myself, or hire someone to help me do so in order to be most successful. This independence and dependence on myself allows me to have a good relationship with myself AND have successful relationships with others. One of my specialties is to help people become aware of what their unique needs are and better manage and take care of them, so they can be more successful as well!
Above are the beginning 4 skills you must learn or have in order to be emotionally healthy and have successful relationships both personally and professionally. Begin to learn and practice these skills so you too can have Successful Relationships Now!
Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life and relationships(s) you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call or contact me so I can support you (and your relationships) in having the best life you’ve ever had!
3 Tips Towards Successful Relationships
Maintaining successful relationships are one of the biggest challenges many of us face and it can even be complex.
Relationships are based on honesty, trust, care and concern. Successful relationships are also forged out of effort, hard work and commitment with one another.
Skills are required to manage your relationships. Example: money knowledge, people skills, setting clear goals, time management, nurturing authentic friendships, living in a beautiful environment, spending quality time together, having fun experiences, intimacy, and physical love.
Since successful relationships require many different skills and effort, there are some critical opponents to make them work.
3 Critical Tips Towards Successful Relationships
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Communications
One of the most important skills to building good relationships is in the art of successful communication. To develop and maintain successful relationships, you need to communicate with your partner and practice inter-personal skills.
Communication also includes non-verbal communication, body language. Both verbal and non-verbal communication is the main key to your success in your relationship.
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Understanding
How can you communicate effectively when you lack understanding? If you do not understand your partner or others there is a chance you may create conflict and stresses.
It is very critical in romantic relationships that it requires expressing yourself effectively and requires active listening. The ability to solve problems effectively is another important skill to enhance relationship.
Focus on your skill in communication, as it is one of the main keys to your relationship success.
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Emotions
How does emotions affect in relationships? Lets examine it;
There are positive emotion and negative emotions. Positive emotions allow you to navigate satisfying, meaningful relationships and help you understand yourself and others. This is empowerment – emotional intelligent. Negative emotions sabotage relationships and bring upon stresses.
The emotions you feel are conveying through nonverbal communication are the foundation of your emotional intelligence.
When you practice effective communication you are rewarded with relationships filled with more love, intimacy, understanding and mutual trust.
If you have been in a number of relationships or marriages that have ended badly, it may affect your confidence in going into new relationships. Perhaps, there may be a deeper reason for it.
Hypnotherapy guides you into finding the root as it access to that information in your subconscious mind. And, there is a possibility, a negative program running in the backburner. (Your subconscious and unconscious mind) Your mind has the tendency to want to replay it unless you change that programming.
Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool to make that change. During a hypnosis session, you are guided to accept the new positive suggestions and use your creative visualization to create a new positive program that you want.
In many cases. relationship-related behavioral patterns are rooted in your childhood memories or even traumas. As an adult, you may carry these pains or mirroring the negative behavior in your own relationships.
Breaking Free Finally
Through the use of hypnosis, you are able to think and behave in ways that are conducive to being happy and having healthy relationships. While hypnosis cannot guarantee romantic success, it can assist you to increase your chances of being in a healthy relationship.
