Throughout our childhood our parents taught us to say ‘thank you’ and it became a habit – something we say automatically, along with ‘please’. And because of this we have forgotten just how important gratitude is and how essential it is in leading fulfilled lives.
So why is gratitude important?
Just for a minute, think of all the things you are grateful for, such as, loving friends, partners and family, pets who love you unconditionally, good health, great holidays you’ve had, as well as everyday items such as a comfortable home, electricity, TV, fridge, and clean water when you turn on the tap. The list, in fact, could go on and on.
So how does that make you feel when you think of all these things? Doesn’t it make you feel good?
Now focus on events that have made you unhappy or dissatisfied – it’s raining, the car won’t start, a work colleague irritates you, you have a head cold. You start to feel grumpy and resentful, and that is something that certainly does not feel good – in fact it feels bad!
So which would you prefer? To feel good? Or to feel bad?
It’s a straightforward choice and we have the ability to choose how we feel. But for most of us, it just doesn’t seem as easy as that – isn’t the world out to get us? Well, no, it isn’t actually, it’s just our perception of how things are.
Let me give you an example: it’s a wet, rainy day, and immediately most people will start to complain, tell everyone who will listen what a miserable day it is, with the result that they end up feeling miserable themselves.
But look at it another way and despite wet clothes and hair, both will dry perfectly well and no lasting harm has been done. And in addition to this, because of rain, we not only live in a green and beautiful landscape, we are able to grow an abundance of fruit and vegetables.
There really is no obvious reason for feeling miserable – in fact there is a great deal to be grateful for. It’s all to do with how we perceive things.
We need to alter our perceptions – our view of how the world is and how things affect us. And if we can do that, then we can start to feel gratitude and as a consequence, start to feel good!
So here are a few suggestions to help you get started:
– It’s important to realise that there is a Law of Gratitude just as there is a Law of Attraction – cause and effect: the more we are grateful, the more we attract to be grateful for.
– Make a list of everything you take for granted in your life, and be grateful for them – clean water, electricity, telephones, computers, transport systems, rain, health, clothes, family, friends, work.
– Start looking at the good in your life – see what’s right instead of what’s wrong.
– Learn to be grateful for mistakes – see them as opportunities to learn and grow.
– Smile and say ‘thank you’ to as many people as you can each day – the postman, supermarket cashier, bus driver, the car driver who lets you into the queue of traffic.
– Send a ‘thank you’ note to someone who has helped you, even in a small way – make this a habit and your appreciation will grow.
– Take a moment to appreciate the world around you – a sunset, a flock of birds, trees, blue skies, and the fact that the sun gets up every morning!
– At the end of each day make a gratitude list – a list of all the things that have happened today that have made you smile and cheered you up: write down at least five, but aim for ten.
Realise that the more you concentrate on gratitude and seeing the good in everything, the more you will be surrounded and blessed with wonderful things to be grateful for.
Realise what a difference having gratitude can make to your life. That’s why gratitude is so special – use it to feel good!
Teaching Children About Gratitude
We live in a world that is very externally focussed, where so many people are looking outwardly for how to make sense of their lives. We often ask ourselves (without even realizing it sometimes), “What’s in it for me?”, and we find ourselves cautious about committing to things or participating in things unless we can assess whether it will ultimately benefit us or not. Children are not that different from us when it comes to the “What’s in it for me?” concept, and this can really affect their ability to demonstrate gratitude in their lives.
We pride ourselves in teaching our children to become independent, which is a very important skill. Children need to learn how to trust themselves, make good choices and solve-problems independently. Sometimes, however, this emphasis on independence can begin to “eat away” at the importance of gratitude. Gratitude is about looking outside of yourself, and I think that when children are taught to be overly-independent, they could easily miss out on the blessings and gifts that are all around them. Definitely some food for thought there!
As a parent, you can teach your child to expect success and happiness in their lives by expressing gratitude for what they already have: a loving family, great friends, clothes to wear, food to eat, etc. Gratitude is a choice that we make to recognize what is going well in our lives, and children can be taught how to choose gratitude each day as well. Gratitude involves slowing down–a novel concept to many children (at least the ones that I know!); slowing down enough to see what is going well and what we have to be grateful for in our lives. The next time you are in the midst of a frantic and frenzied situation with your child, try taking a minute with your child to identify things in that moment to be grateful for. You’ll be surprised at how the situation seems to have magically “slowed down” with much more positive energy.
When children express gratitude, it improves their confidence level. Children learn to focus on the positive much more consistently, and they feel good recognizing that no matter what, there is LOTS to be grateful for each and every day. You can teach your child to transform a negative experience into a more positive one by asking your child, “What’s good about this?”. Better, yet, why not display that question somewhere in your home where everyone in your family can see it each day! Helping your child strengthen his/her “gratitude muscles” will enable them to focus more on the thoughts that they can control, which is a huge self-esteem boost! Remember, gratitude is a CHOICE we make that has powerful long-term effects when practiced daily. How can you begin a family practice of gratitude today?
