Relationship success is not easily accomplished. What appears to be wonderful at the beginning can makes worse rapidly if you haven’t learned what it takes to create relationship success and how to communicate with love.
Everybody is just looking to be understood, accepted and loved – without being required to change anything at all. We all want to keep things exactly as they are – and then add a person into our life who will just fit in, so that we don’t have to change anything.
What appears to be destructive or self-destructive behavior because of inappropriate or Letdown actions or behavior that is ignoring your repeated requests – is often merely behavior that is designed and the intention to be self-soothing, at the moment, for the person exhibit the behavior. However, when you are involved in a close relationship, any close relationship, your habitual self-soothing behavior can, and often does, negatively affect the other person. Self-soothing at the expense of sharing and loving behavior can cause even the most seemingly wonderful relationships to defect.
When you get into a relationship with someone, anyone, nobody owes anything to anybody else. Your partner does not OWE it to you to be kind and loving, to satisfy your needs – any of your needs. Everything that lasts until or until that time, there is nothing for him. All you have to do is be yourself, no matter how needy or demanding you appear to someone else.
So, you and your chosen partner are just looking to be understood, accepted and loved. Your partner’s and your behaviors that annoy the other person are probably attempts at self-soothing. And, you and your partner owe each other nothing in a relationship. How do you handle all those emotional ups and downs, hurts and rejections, differences in style, and unfairness that inevitably arise between two people in relationship?
You’ve heard this word before: communication. We all know that relationships require communication. So we communicate – “You’re so selfish.” “You have to change this….” “You didn’t listen to me….”
What leads to relationship success is not just any kind of communication because of blasted at the other person to satisfy your own self-righteousness or self-centered demands. There is only one kind of communication that leads to growth and deeper love and success – loving communication.
Loving communication starts with “I,” not “You.” Loving communication involves a soft expression in your eyes, a relaxed expression on your face and body language that is open and receptive. Loving communication is not just blasted at the partner, but spoken at a time and in such a way that the partner is most likely to be able to hear and respond lovingly to the words. Yes, you may get angry and upset and lose your composure for awhile. But then when your emotional balance returns, you can reach out with compassion and wisdom and make immediate amends.
Loving communication requires one more aspect that many of us leave out of the equation. Essential for any successful relationship is a sense that each of you feels unconditionally loved, respected and accepted, regardless of your current outward behavior. Many of us think we are loving, but our partners and friends may disagree. Successful relationships require communication and emotional skills that most of us have not learned. Yet there is so much help and guidance available if you only reach out to take advantage of what is available. Learning how to love may be the most essential lesson of your life. Are you ready to begin?
Follow This Advice And Find Relationship Success
In our society, we have what I like to call a “rushed mentality.” The biggest example of this is in the diet industry. We are inundating with ads promising to help us lose 30 pounds in 30 days, get abs of steel in just four short weeks among many, many other promises. And while setting goals is great, most people trying to sell you something never tell you that what having you desire most is not always so easy or quick. Most of the time (sorry to have to say it!) it requires more work, dedication and discipline than we’re thought it would. The truth is, success is ANYTHING (including love) is a process and it requires patience and a winning attitude.
Many of my clients ask me how can I meet Mr. Right in the soonest time possible? I want to get married, have children and I want it all TODAY. Sorry ladies, it’s not gonna happen that way!
Everything is a PROCESS. Getting what you want is seldom an overnight miracle, nor does it magically happen in seven days or four weeks or whatever time table you are promised.
If you look at many women around you, you might be saying to yourself, “It looks like they have the perfect relationship, the perfect guy and they don’t follow any rules, they don’t read books on love, they don’t do half the work I do!”
But the fact is if you look very closely at these women and their relationships, there are common characteristics, commonalities among them that contribute to their success! This is the same with naturally thin people. Sure they may be predisposed to having a certain body shape, but their eating habits, etc. contribute to their thin physique. If you ask them, “What do you do?” They might tell you, “Oh, nothing much, I eat whatever I want!” But that’s because it comes natural to them, so they’ve never had to think about it.
You may be asking, “How do I study these women intently and get what I want?”
You model other people’s success. My book gives you many of the secrets to relationship success, and describes to you the attitude and actions of a dream girl, the girl who always gets the guy and the great relationship! You can have this too.
What I want you to takeaway from this is that everything is a system. There is always a system for success. A system for was getting what you want–whether it be becoming a successful entrepreneur, a great doctor, a “naturally” thin person, or having a successful relationship. Most people think they can act however they want, do whatever they want and get the relationship of their dreams — our culture tells us this. But, unfortunately, it just isn’t true. There is a system for success and you can start to adopt it today!
Remember, you don’t have to be perfect, you have to adopt the 20 percent of the system (the parts that you most need help with) to see 80 percent success. If you want closer to 100 percent success then adopt ALL of the system. The rule of 80/20 and it’s true in almost everything out there.
Please be patient with this process. Learn all you need to know to be successful. There’s a blueprint out there for whatever you want to be successful. Don’t cheapen out! Someone out there has already done all the hard work for you. Get that book, take that course and learn what it takes to be successful at what you want. Remember it’s a process not an overnight success. Learn from your mistakes, brush it off and keep it moving! You will get there with time, trust me!
