For some of us, worry has become our second nature. A friend told me many years ago that if I didn’t have something to worry about I wouldn’t know what to do with my life and to chill out!
This came as a shock as I had been aware that I needed to positively change my way of thinking and had been doing so for about 4 years by then so I thought I was really making great advances in my life.
But on reflection, she was right and I knew that if it was showing on the outside it must be creating terrible anxiety on the inside. I also understood that a mind at dis-ease can create exactly that, and medical scientists have proved time and time again that a stressed mind will create ill health in the body.
I needed to find a way to stop doing this but I was scared that if I didn’t focus on the significant things that I needed to deal with in my life I would be like an ostrich sticking my head in the sand and someone else would then take control of my life.
The four column chart
I was pondering how I could possibly know what was significant and what was insignificant when I remembered the serenity prayer;
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
A light turned on for me, especially the part about having the wisdom to know the difference. After a lot of thinking I began an empowering process which I would like to share with you.
I took a large sheet of paper and drew up four columns from left to right (the third column being the widest) with the headings;
- Problem
- Can Change
- Solution
- Can’t change
In the first column I wrote down everything I was worrying about, in the next column a big green tick next to those I knew I could change or could get help to change and then in the solutions column the brainstorming began. The last column I put a big red cross next to the things I couldn’t change and affirmed that it was OK to let them go.
Back to the solutions column, this is where the brainstorming came in and it was imperative to write everything down that seemed like a solution no matter how crazy it seemed at the time. You can also enlist the help of a friend or family member to help you with this. It is amazing the resourcefulness you will find if you just play with ideas. For instance, I had a large loan debt and I wrote on my brainstorming sheet of paper to contact the bank manager and ask for a reduction in the payments and then took action and I actually got a reduction in my loan payments and they offered to freeze my account for 3 months. It is amazing how people will support you if you put your hand up and ask for help. Always ask yourself, how can I have a win/win in this situation?
Become a powerful problem solver
What happened after that exercise changed my whole attitude to worry and I became a problem solver extraordinaire instead of a worry wart. It empowered me so much that I felt happier and in control of my life. The big looming dark clouds of worry diminished into small manageable solutions and I was feeling lighter and happier. I looked at my chart and could see how much stuff I was schlepping around because I had never been taught how to deal with worry before. Worrying was just a natural thing people did in my family, they were experts at it.
Since doing that exercise a few times, I was amazed at how proficient I became at problem solving. I have taught my family the same problem solving process and how to do brainstorming because I wanted to give them the skills to find solutions to get what they want or to think more creatively (outside the square)
Nowadays I don’t need to draw up the chart as the process is imbedded in my head like a template and when any challenges arise they automatically get filtered into the appropriate columns in my mind and I can pull out solutions from the vast bank of knowledge I have to draw on.
It is important to deal with your problems straight away because once you see a solution, it is not a problem anymore and you will be a much happier person for it, not to mention having a healthier body and more time and energy to enjoy life.
Problems! Are They Opportunities?
Problems are functions of life. Life itself would not have been so popular without problems. It is therefore vital to say problem is one of the intricacies of life that every living organism in all its kind and species must experience. The society today thrives on problems. This actually implies problems not music make the world goes around and ensures the consistent existence of living things. Man a higher animal has several opinions to what is problem? Most men have failed to realize what problems are, and are meant for. The universal perspective is that everybody prays at all times never to encounter problems of any kind however less complex it may be.
In my opinion, I think such prayers should be reduced as problems are inevitable in this life. In order to grow fulfilled, problem is an important key player. So many people like to listen to an achiever in a significant area of life speak of his experience, they savor those moments and imagine they too scale through such hurdle and become like him; if searched thoroughly, their sub-conscious would have returned ‘this is problem!’ psychology has is that problems are actually an experience that life offers those willing to live it to the fullest. The current advancement in technology is problem based. If problem does not really exist, there may not be evolution of brilliant ideas; intelligence would not have woken up form sleep while wits would have been swapped for nitwits! This is the time the society should change its opinion about what problems are because they are opportunities!
You see, most successful people today are problem solvers. They deliberately pray for problem to solve. These are champions, because their breakfast is not wheat but challenges! Challenges bear the keys to unlock your real self, whom you really are. So let us make it a habit to always face our fears. I will describe problem as veiled opportunity presented to success aspirant. This implies that success is also found in problem and vice-versa. To succeed in anything one must be ready to face challenges. It is therefore in our best interest to prepare our mind earlier to take the challenges head on! My observations have shown that, the size of any success is the dependent on the size of the problem, so watch out for big problems as they disguise big opportunities, keep your eyes wide open, your tact well alerted to make difference. It takes people with an extraordinary spirit like this to prove the entire society wrong in this manner. This is simply because they have forgotten that the bee that has a sting in its tail also has honey in its mouth.
The choice is solely yours to make as there is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things which is just like putting up one against one million. The unknown fact is that possibility still exists in this condition of most uncertainty, if we are really determined to make the needed change. I will hereby submit on a final note that problems, real problems are opportunities in work clothes.
